TYPES OF ABUSE
There are five types of abuse; verbal, emotional, physical, sexual and economic. When people think of abuse, they often picture battered women who have been physically assaulted. But not all abusive relationships have to be violent. Just because you don't have bruises or scars doesn't mean you aren't being abused. Many women suffer from sexual as well as emotional abuse which is often minimized or even overlooked - even by the person being abused. However, like physical abuse, the scars of emotional abuse are very real.
Victims of dating violence may experience a wide range of emotional responses to this abuse. They may feel shame and embarrassment, which may prohibit them from seeking help. They often experience extreme levels of stress, fear, anxiety, and depression. Many believe their abusers when they say that it's "their fault," and wind up experiencing self-blame and guilt. Still more victims often lack the self-esteem to realize that they deserve a healthier relationship; they stay because they feel they can't do any better.
Read more at Suite101: Teen Dating Violence: Warning Signs for Abusive Relationships
Can you or someone you know identify any of these types of abuse?
VERBAL Abuse
Being threatened by a partner verbally, causing her to question her sense of self-worth. You might feel there is no way out of the relationship or that without your partner you have nothing.
- Threats
- Insults/Nasty Comments
- Tells you how to act, what to say, what to do or what to wear
- Name calling
- Constant criticism
- Yelling/Screaming
- Humiliating Jokes
Physical Abuse
Physical abuse does NOT have to leave a bruise or break a bone. Any unwanted physical contact that usually inflicts harm designed to instill fear in you or endanger you is abuse.
- Slapping
- Punching
- Pushing
- Shoving
- Kicking
- Spitting
- Grabbing
- Choking
- Pinching
- Burning
- Destroys your personal property
- Doesn't allow you to leave
Emotional Abuse
Being threatened by a partner emotionally, causing her to question her sense of self-worth. You might feel there is no way out of the relationship or that without your partner you have nothing.
- Jealousy or possessiveness
- Isolation from friends or family
- Mind Games
- Blames you for their behavior
- Threatens to commit suicide or harm family members
- Puts down your accomplishments
- Ignores feelings or beliefs
- Constantly checks up on you
Sexual Abuse
Any situation in which you are forced to have sex, or perform sexual acts against your will with a partner with whom you also have consensual sex, is an act of aggression and violence. Sexual abuse is a form of physical abuse.
- Uses force to have sex; possibly even rape.
- Harasses, threatens or constantly pressures you to look at porn.
- Pressures you to engage in sexual acts with which you are not comfortable
- Compares you to past sexual partners.
- Make jokes about sexual performance.
- Constantly accusing you of cheating.
- Has you engaged in sex texting.
ECONOMIC abuse
Economic abuse may involve withholding money from you, spending your money without your consent, and preventing you from getting a job or preventing you from keeping a job as means of exerting control.
It is still abuse...
- The incidents of physical abuse seem minor when compared to those you have read about, seen on television or heard other women talk about. There isn't a "better" or "worse" form of physical abuse; you can be severely injured as a result of being pushed, for example.
- The incidents of physical abuse have only occurred one or two times in the relationship. Studies indicate that if your spouse/partner has injured you once, it is likely he will continue to physically assault you.
- The physical assaults stopped when you became passive and gave up your right to express yourself as you desire, to move about freely and see others, and to make decisions. It is not a victory if you have to give up your rights as a person and a partner in exchange for not being assaulted.
- There has not been any physical violence. Many women are emotionally and verbally assaulted. This can be equally frightening and is often more confusing to try and understand.
You have the right to a violence free relationships. No matter what your partner says the abuse is NOT your fault.
Important Information
- Abusive behavior and violence is a deliberate choice made by the abuser in order to control you.
- Abusers are able to control their behavior.
- Abusers often choose whom to abuse.
- Abusers carefully choose when and where to abuse.
- Abusers are able to stop their abusive behavior when it benefits them.
- Violent abusers usually direct their blows where they won't show.